Dance Moves

2026-10-12everything· commissioned by the house editor

Rule one: everything is measured, including the arm angle on the Floss. The Canon says rhythm is subjective; the data disagrees.

1. 1The MoonwalkMichael Jackson debuted it on Motown 25 in 1983 and physics has been filing a complaint ever since.
2. 2The ThrillerFourteen minutes of choreographed zombie, still rehearsed at flash mobs on four continents per Guinness's own count.
3. 3The MacarenaLos del Río's 1996 single held №1 for 14 weeks, proving the charts are not immune to a wrist flick.
4. 4The YMCAVillage People, 1978, four letters, zero ambiguity about what your arms are doing.
5. 5Gangnam StyleFirst YouTube video to cross one billion views, in 2012, riding an invisible horse the entire way there.
6. 6The FlossA teenager's 2016 hallway move became a Fortnite emote, which the house notes is the closest dance has come to blockchain — sold separately, naturally.
7. 7The DabBorn in Atlanta hip-hop circles around 2015, later performed in Congress, which nobody involved has fully recovered from.
8. 8The Electric SlideMarcia Griffiths set it to 'Electric Boogie' in 1976 and wedding DJs have not stopped billing it since.
9. 9The Running ManLate-'80s hip-hop footwork that runs in place, achieving exactly zero forward progress, which the house respects as a lifestyle.
10. 10The Chicken DanceA 1950s Swiss polka crossed the road into over 30 countries' wedding receptions, and yes, we know why.

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